It has become common to hear about physical abuse, or emotional abuse, but we rarely hear about the lesser-known, spiritual abuse. It can be defined as “any attempt to exert power and control over someone by using religion, faith, or beliefs”.
Spiritual abuse happens in religious organizations, in spiritual communities and groups, but also in personal relationships. As with any form of abuse, it can stem from an unhealthy view of power and influence within the community of faith. Abuse occurs when spiritual leaders and peers exert some form of control over a person’s life, by overtly or subtly imposing their ways, involving elements of coercion, secrecy, isolation, and manipulation. Spiritual leaders that improperly exercise their authority can cause lasting damage to their victims and forget that Jesus called those in spiritual leadership to serve rather than to be served (Matthew 20:28).
Recognizing spiritual abuse and healing from it can be a difficult journey. Victims often experience shame, faith crisis, extreme dependence, loss of sense of self and trauma. The impacts of spiritual abuse can become systemic, creating unhealthy patterns that can undermine the victim’s relationships and shape future generations. Abuse is never the fault of the victim and God calls His followers to be discerning when choosing where to worship and whose power to submit to. “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” Matthew 7:15.
Spirituality gives meaning to existence; it establishes the relation of man to his Creator and determines life’s principles and values. Spiritual health determines the quality of life, which is why seeking for healing is important.
Healing from spiritual abuse will require:
- Doing an evaluation of your spiritual life. The first step to healing is to identify how your spiritual circle truly makes you feel. Is your spiritual leader journeying with you, or are they imposing? 2 Corinthians 3:17 reminds us that “The Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom”. Do you have a voice, or do you feel constrained in your walk?
- Having honest conversations with a trusted circle. Spiritual abuse often happens in closed circles, therefore, talking with a person that is not attached to the group will provide an objective standpoint. This person could be a pastor, a professional counselor, a trusted peer or family member. They may be a good resource to help find an exit plan based on the severity of the experience, level of safety, and timing.
- Pointing out to past traumas. Professional counseling can be a great way to help draw the bigger picture. In some cases, understanding past traumas can help in understanding the connection with current traumas and abuse, which will lead to deeper healing.
For an in-depth discussion and understanding of spiritual abuse, listen to this week’s full episode as host Mario de Armas, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern, talks with Christine Schlottman, LMHC (Co-Founder of Wellspring), and Pastor Rob Porras from New Life Church.
