Anger is a natural feeling that occurs when we perceive something to be a threat or an injustice to ourselves or others. It results from the belief that what is true shouldn’t be.
Anger is a secondary emotion that can range anywhere from annoyance to rage, with a buried emotion behind it. It can be expressed actively with strong expressions or aggression, or it can be experienced internally, sometimes even turning into depression or chronic physical symptoms. Common underlying emotions for anger include fear, frustration, hurt, loss, rejection, embarrassment, grief, guilt, worry, regret, disappointment, helplessness, disgust, and feeling offended by injustice. If you have an “anger problem” you may have unresolved trauma, ungrieved losses, unrealistic expectations of yourself or others, or multiple unresolved injustices. You may also be unskilled in allowing yourself to feel and process a full array of emotions, turning anger into your habitual “go to” feeling in response to life stressors.
If anger is a problem for you consider these remedies:
– If you notice you are feeling tense, agitated, or upset, take a brief break to calm your body down. Walk outside, imagine being in your favorite place for a few minutes, splash some cold water on your face, or dance to your favorite song. Then think through what made you angry, whether or not your perception of the injustice is true, and what is in your control to solve the problem.
– When anger disrupts daily life, strains relationships, and affects behavior negatively, counseling can help to process past situations that are triggers, build awareness, and teach coping skills to manage moments of anger.
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