Recently, in a neighborhood posting site to which I subscribe, a neighbor used the site to “tell all” about a negative encounter he had at a local business.

Following this post, another neighbor criticized the first for having publicly defamed a local struggling business, suggesting that he could have instead just spoken to the owner directly.

I agreed with the second post; these are stressful times, and we could all use a little more grace. Criticism is sometimes necessary, but ungracious criticism never is. Just as a single freeze frame of a video cannot possibly represent a whole movie, so a single episode cannot accurately define a business or a person. If it did, we could all be defined as failures, inept, unkind, thoughtless, careless, poor performers, or worse.

With our unrelenting societal stressors, it seems that people have become more irritable, impatient, and critical. Stress is bad for our mental health! It does not give us an excuse to be unkind, but it may be a good reason for us to give more grace to each other when we are.

For example, we could add some new graceful sentences into our thought life. When seeing someone fail to perform, we could think: “Wow, she must really be affected by Covid!” Or “He must be under a lot of stress.” Or “I hope he feels more joy before the end of the day.” When we see someone fly off the handle, we could compassionately extend grace: maybe it’s the 100th thing that went wrong that day, or they just lost a job. Even if the person is always angry and yells at people, could we have sorrow for that person instead of judgment? Wouldn’t being angry all of the time be a horrible way to live?

• God gives us this grace and more (Ephesians 1:3-8).

• He knows how weak we are and is kind to us anyway (2 Corinthians 12:9).

• God remembers that we are only made of dust. (Psalm 103:14)

• Jesus came to sympathize (Hebrews 4:15) with with us, and has compassion for us (Mark 6:34).

“Emotional Athletes” give grace too, because they know that they will need it themselves soon enough.

And while you’re at it, remember to give yourself some grace too. Say something honest but kind to yourself like, “Wow, that was rude of me, I might be overreacting because I’m stressed. I’ll apologize and then do something to help myself feel better.” Grace!

So now that I have criticized the critics, I will try to give grace to them as well!

This Week’s Episode of Wellspring On the Air:

Forgiveness with Tova Kreps, LSCW, and Mario de Armas, RMHC