Fathers have a huge impact on their kids. Many who grow up without a father have a huge hole in their life. Even Lebron James, with enormous fame, financial, and career success, still has a wound caused by an absent father and is affected today by not having a father (Tsuji, 2018).
How does a father impact a child? Some of the typical roles a father plays in a child’s life are playmate, coach, mentor, disciplinarian, provider and protector. It is challenging to play all these roles well. Additionally, fathers can influence the type of relationships their kids have, their career, how they later parent and even their self worth. Overwhelmed yet? Teaching a child how you made decisions and helping them learn from your mistakes can be the first steps. Additionally, you can only do these roles well when there is time for the relationship to develop and grow. Finding time to listen to your child and learn about their world, successes and challenges, not only provides the foundation for a relationship but creates trust and dependence.
The family patterns tend to be passed down to the kids. If your parents did not talk about emotions, it is likely you do not talk about emotions. The only way to not repeat the patterns of the past is to recognize them and heal from them. How to heal from the wounds of the father? One solution includes facing the past, feeling and processing what was lost before fixing what you can. If you do this with a counselor, pastor or close friend, you can heal and grow and ultimately parent differently (Kreps, 2009).
As many as half the children in the U.S. grow up in a divorced home (U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2019). This division affects the role and voice of a father. It is easy to give up or not lean into the challenge, but finding ways to be involved and connect with kids and step-kids is vitally important, even when the kids resist. When kids are not directly listening to a parent, they are learning from observation. As a man, there are many things pulling for your attention, few things, if any, will have the generational impact of being a father.
Jesus said in John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Fatherhood is not a one time death to self but an ongoing daily dying to a man’s desires, finances and time. Not only did Jesus give up his life for our sin, our Heavenly Father gave his Son to the Cross to restore humanity. This is how much God the Father loves you.
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