Creating friendships for men can sometimes be a difficult task. During the early years of one’s life, the word “friend” can carry a lighter weight. As time passes on, the meaning of what a friendship is tends to evolve. Friendships among men often revolve around common characteristics, such as “similar interests and engaging in cooperative activities” (Williams, 2015). Men tend to bond through accomplishments rather than self-disclosure. One of the reasons why self-disclosure in men is less common, is because of the perceived threat that it creates towards a man’s masculinity (Williams, 2015). Studies have shown that men associate self-disclosure with homosexuality. For that reason, conversations between heterosexual men may steer towards more impersonal topics (work, politics, finance, or sports). Although there exists a level of stigma in men for disclosing personal matters, a 2008 study by Jonathan Bowman (a communications professor from USD) showed that a correlation exists between health in men and self-disclosure. For a man, having the ability to self-disclose or be transparent with their emotions can become a positive vital part of one’s friendships.
When looking at the relationship that Jesus had with His disciples, you a able to see a very personal relationship. Jesus consistently taught His disciples in order to prepare them for the task they had at hand. Christian men are therefore called to teach one another and model the ways that Jesus interacted with His disciples. In John 14:6, Jesus states: “I am the way, the truth, and the life…” (ESV). In the previously stated verse, Jesus is sharing about who He is in full disclosure. By following in Jesus’ example men can shatter stereotypes and societal expectations of what a male friendship should look like.
Male friendships can be built by seeking like-minded men that share activities or interests, but are also willing to be vulnerable and share feelings or thoughts. Ultimately, you are able to shape the reality of your friendships, so get out of your comfort zone! Self-disclosure can go a long way if one is willing to try it out.
Article by:
Angel Pardo-Nunez, Student Intern
