No matter who you are, you’ve probably had someone do something that hurt you. While some people choose to hold onto their resentments, forgiveness is what ultimately sets us free and lets us move forward. But what does forgiveness look like, and how exactly does it benefit us?
Benefits of Forgiveness
God warns us about the negative effects of carrying bitterness in our hearts toward others, but what about the positive effects of forgiveness? Not only has forgiveness has been linked to people enjoying longer lives, but according Mayo Clinic, forgiveness can also:
-
reduce stress and hostility
-
improve self-esteem
-
lower your blood pressure
-
lessen symptoms of depression
What Forgiveness Doesn’t Look Like
Before talking about how we should forgive others, let’s first talk about what forgiveness doesn’t look like. Forgiveness does not mean:
-
Pretending what happened is “Ok”
-
Having positive feelings toward the other person
-
Forgetting the offense
-
Rescuing the offender from consequences
While there are examples of Christians forgiving even the killing of a beloved family member, it does not mean pretending the event did not happen, or that the killer should not suffer consequences for what they have done. It also doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with them either. Forgiveness is important because it restores your own inner peace. It’s about setting yourself free, not them.
How to Forgive
-
Acknowledge the offense and your feelings
-
Pray about your feelings and also pray for the offender.
-
Submit to God’s sovereignty of allowing this in your life.
-
Decide to forgive.
-
Give it to God to handle for justice.
-
Focus on how you have been forgiven just as Jesus forgave you.
If you are struggling with forgiving someone or are interested in hearing a more in-depth conversation on forgiveness and other topics, listen to our radio show series Unchaining Love – Part 1 (Repentance) and Part 2 (Forgiveness).
Listen to this week’s podcast entitled: Unchaining Love, Part 2: Forgiveness
Host: Lindsey Steffen, LMHC with Tova Kreps, LCSW
